Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
