You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
