she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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