the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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