Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
