ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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