I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
