apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
try to milk me bitch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
