Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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