I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
