Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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