peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
