just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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