but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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