My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
