My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
