she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm always down for nudity.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
