Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We got so high we made milksteak
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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