I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
