your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just pee around me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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