i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
