plz talk dirty to me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
