is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
