i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
