He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
