I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
