New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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