like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize