Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
