i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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