I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
