it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
