Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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