omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
