i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
