this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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