He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
