dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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