Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my shit smells like andre
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
