Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
