Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize