The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize