That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
