At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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