Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last time i carry you out of a forest
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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