The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
