is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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