Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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