I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
