I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
