I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
