dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
