Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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