what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
porn star boner night. come get it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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