if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just googled if crying burns calories
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize