Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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