from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
