I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
