reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
