I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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