We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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